


Forgiving All Forgetting None

by pieckiepoo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, POV Reiner Braun, Reiner Braun Needs a Hug, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-28 00:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30131217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pieckiepoo/pseuds/pieckiepoo
Summary: As a general’s daughter, you’ve had high expectations shoved on you for most of your life. So, it is unusual that you don’t share a disgust of Eldians with your fellow Marleyans. While working with your father, you befriend the Marley Warrior Unit and its candidates. One Warrior in specific catches your attention: Reiner Braun. Your interest in him rises as you get to know him, and his interest in you does the same. Will your blood statuses create conflict in your growing relationship? Or will this forbidden affair find a way to flourish in secret? And what will Reiner do when it's time to go back to war?A slow burn with POV that differentiates from time to time. It starts from the time skip and will continue until the end.
Relationships: Reiner Braun & Reader, Reiner Braun/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. (Y/n) Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first thing like this EVER so I hope you like!

Standing in a room full of the most powerful men in Marley is a tad bit intimidating. The men sat in their designated chairs with nothing but a cold cup of tea in front of them. Tension hung throughout the air. The war our nation fought in for the past four years was hopefully about to come to an end.  
I stood behind my father, a general in the brass. General Dawkins was a two sided name of the military. Some saw him as a successful man with one of the most strategic minds Marley has, but most saw him as a washed out drunk. Still, he kept his position and respect amongst most of the other officers. When I became old enough to work, he demanded that I join him as sort of his assistant. Mostly, I just followed him around and did what he asked me to do.  
Just as I was getting lost in thought, the doors of the room burst open. Everyone’s heads turned towards the woman in the doorway.  
“They’ve done it,” she said, “they have defeated the Mid-East Allied Forces.”  
There was a shared sigh of relief that drifted across the room.  
One general laughed, “Magath did it, that clever bastard.”


	2. (Y/n) Marley's Greatest Weapons

“So all I have to do is check on the warriors and candidates and report back?” I asked my father. 

“We just need to make sure our greatest weapons are still our greatest weapons,” he replied as he took a swig from his flask. 

I marched towards the door, but before I could open it I turned back to my father. This sort of task was never entrusted to someone like me. It made me wonder why he chose me to do it. “Are you sure there isn’t an underlying reason I have to check on them? Did they say something in that meeting earlier?”

“I’ll be expecting you back before dusk,” he replied abruptly.

With that, I rushed out the door and onto the lively streets. People had newspapers stuffed into their faces, only lifting their heads up to repeat what was on the pages. The defeat of the Mid-Eastern Alliance brought pride to the nation of Marley. 

One man said, “After this victory, I’m sure our forces can return to Paradis and kill those devil bastards!” There was a cheer of agreement that followed. 

Working for my father I got to read a lot of files I was not supposed to. One of them was the Paradis Island file. I lost track of the amount of times I reread it. The most interesting part were the “devils'' of Paradis Island. I believed that Eldians on the mainland were no different from everyone else, so doesn’t that mean these “devils'' are the same, too? 

Before I knew it I had reached my destination. The housing the warriors stayed at was hardly housing. The shingles of the building were littered on the street. There were vines stretching around the building and across the windows. The windows themselves were barely transparent through the layer of dust covering them from the inside. 

The door squeaked as I gently pushed it open. With a quick glance around the lobby area, I spotted a woman wearing a red armband heading for the stairs. She walked slowly with a crutch under her left arm. I easily recognized the fragile Cart Titan. 

“Excuse me, you’re a warrior right?” I called as I chased after her. 

She peaked over her shoulder and turned around, “yes, and you are?”

“I’m Y/n Dawkins. You’re Pieck Finger right? ” I asked as I stretched my hand towards her. 

Her tired eyes opened a little wider before she shook my hand. “Yea, that’s me, ” she said, “what brings you here?”

“My father sent me to check on the warriors and candidates,” I quickly opened my notebook and took out my pen. “So, is your body healing...well?” I asked as I glanced at her crutch. 

She chuckled softly, “Oh, my body is fine. I haven’t walked normally in two months so this is just some extra support.”

“That’s good, that’s good,” I repeated as I scribbled down in my notes. “Before we get too deep, are there more warriors here?”

“The Armored Titan took a few canons to the face, so he may still be healing. Him and Jaw should be in their room if you want to check.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you.”

I followed Pieck up the stairs, which took longer than usual due to her condition. She led me down a hall and stopped in front of a door. From the outside, we could hear a man’s nagging voice. Pieck’s hand landed on the knob and she turned it with a gentle sigh. 

“Poc, we shouldn’t pick on people who’ve been hit by heavy artillery,” she said as she strolled into the room. 

“That’s not my name Pieck, st-” he stopped when he noticed I was behind her. 

I recognized him from the Warrior files; Porco Galliard, the Jaw Titan, and on a cot to his left sat Reiner Braun, the Armored Titan. Porco shifted uncomfortably in his seat. They both looked at my left arm, probably to check for an armband. After a moment of searching, their backs seemed to straighten. 

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Porco asked. 

Pieck replied before I could, “This is Y/n Dawkins. She came to che-”

“Wait,” Porco cut in, “like General Dawkins?”

“Yes, that’s my father,” I answered. 

Porco and Reiner exchanged uneasy glances. I extended my arm towards Porco, “Porco Galliard, right?”

A look of confusion grew across his face as he slowly shook my hand. His jaw hung open before he said, “How did you-”

I swiftly turned to Reiner, who seemed equally confused. “And Reiner Braun, right?” My hand hung in the air for a few moments before he returned the gesture. Other than his arm, the rest of his body didn’t move. His eyes stayed fixated on mine.

I pulled back and reopened my notebook, “I just need to ask a few questions and I won’t bother you guys any longer.”

When there was no response, I looked up from my notebook. All three warriors stared at me with bewilderment. It took me a moment to realize why they looked at me like that. 

“Oh, sorry, I read all of your files. That’s how I know your names,” I said, “well, come to think of it, I know almost everything about you guys.”

The last part might have been too much. Their expressions varied from each face, as if they didn’t know how to take this news. Some random girl had just cruised into their lives and confessed she knows everything about them. 

After a few moments of silence, Pieck broke the tension, “I hope there’s nothing embarrassing in mine.”

I laughed, “I’m sorry for my intrusiveness, I have a bad habit of putting my nose where it doesn’t belong. You’re all just so interesting!”

“That’s a first,” Porco scoffed. 

“Porco,” Reiner said as his gaze flicked from Porco to me, “sorry about him, you just caught us off guard.”

“That’s understandable, but I have no time to waste. Let’s get started!”

It wasn’t long before I had my pages filled with information about each warrior’s health. My examination may have been too thorough, but I did not want to disappoint my father. I insisted on asking as many questions as possible, even going as far as physically examining them. The best part of it all was seeing Porco try to touch his toes. 

“I swear, my body must still be healing. I can touch them,” he said while straining downwards. 

I leaned down to his head and laughed, “man, for the Jaw Titan you aren’t really versatile.”

He quickly snapped back up and crossed his arms. His cheeks glew red with embarrassment. Pieck and I giggled at Porco’s state. I peered over at Reiner to see if he would join in, but he remained straight-faced.

After we settled, Pieck spoke, “Reiner, you should go see the kids. They’re worried about you.”

“Yea, I think I will,” Reiner said as he started to rise. 

“Do you mind if I come with you?” I asked, “I’m supposed to examine them, too.” 

He froze once he reached a standing position. With a deep sigh, he gave me a weary, “ok.” He darted for the door and disappeared around the corner. 

I turned to Pieck and Porco, “Is he always this standoffish?”

“It’s part of his brooding act,” Porco retorted.

By the time I finally caught up to Reiner, he was already at the bottom of the steps. He didn’t bother to look over when I reached his side. We walked out the door and down the street. 

“So, you’re close with these kids, yeah?” I asked as an attempt to make conversation. 

He glanced at me through the corner of his eyes, “Yeah.”

I frowned at his distance.  _ Why is he being so cold _ , I asked myself. I didn’t remember doing anything that would offend him. His long strides were hard to keep up with, which made me scuttle beside him. I could sense that he noticed, but didn’t bother to slow down. His broad shoulders pumped with every step he took. He was surely the most intimidating warrior. 

_ Wait a second _ , I said to myself,  _ this is the perfect opportunity to ask him about Paradis! _

“While I have you alone,” I started, “do you mind if I ask you a few questions about Paradis?”

  
  



	3. (Reiner) Curiosity Killed the Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch out for the titles of the chapters to know who's point of view its in! Also, I'm sorry for the short chapters, but I have a lot written out already so updates won't take long!

_ Paradis? What does she know about Paradis? How does she know enough to ask questions? _

I stopped in my tracks and turned towards her. Her eyes looked genuinely curious. I took a quick survey of the area; no one was paying attention. I rushed into an alleyway, making sure she followed. She ran up to me with a hopeful smile. 

“That is classified. What do you know about Paradis?” I hissed. 

Her gaze fell to the floor and she mumbled, “the files were just sitting on my father’s desk.”

Of course, General Dawkins was probably too intoxicated to remember to put information like that away properly. It only makes sense his inquisitive daughter would get her hands on them. She still looked at her feet, waiting for an answer. 

I didn’t even notice how close my face was to hers until she looked back up. I took a step back, not wanting to anger her. However, I’ve noticed she doesn’t seem bothered by Eldians. She was in close range with me and the other warriors, she never once made a remark about our “filth”, and she even put her hands on us when she was examining our bodies. Other Marleyans can’t even go down the street without spitting on an Eldian, especially the military higher ups. But, she just kept staring at me with her eager eyes. 

“So,” she began, “does this awkward silence mean I can ask you some questions?”

“No.” I stepped around her and walked back onto the street. It took her a moment to emerge from the alley and catch up to me. 

“Fine, just one question, please. I just want to understand something!” She begged. 

“You shouldn't know more than I went there and failed. Besides, do you know what would happen to me if they found out I told you anything?”

“I won’t tell anyone anything, I promise! Just  _ one _ question!”

“I already told you n-”

I felt a tug on my sleeve as my body was whipped around to face her. She had us stopped in the middle of the street, in front of everyone. People watched from the sides of the street as a Marleyan touched a filthy blooded Eldian. Her eyes never left mine as she pleaded for my cooperation. For being a nuisance, she had some beautiful eyes. 

With more people starting to notice our presence, I sighed, “Fine, one question. Keep walking or we’ll look suspicious.”

Her hand fell from my sleeve as her brilliant smile reappeared on her face. We started walking again, past the stalls and crowds. I turned down a less populated street and glanced over at her. Her hands were balled together in excitement. 

“Go ahead,” I said.

She took a deep breath and came to a halt. She slowly turned to me. 

  
  



	4. (Y/n) Admirers

“Were those people really devils? They’re almost the same as Eldians right? So are they like everyone else?”

His eyes grew large and his face went slack. His gaze went right through me, as if I was invisible. The pupils of his eyes shrunk into the golden pools of honey behind them. Judging by his expression, that question could actually give him a reason to resent me. I started to panic as guilt washed over me. 

“I mean Eldians and Marleyans are alike, so wouldn't these ‘devils’ be just like us? People always say Eldians are savages but I have yet to-”

“No,” he cut in suddenly, “they were all devils. Every last one of them.”

With that, he started to walk again. As I ran to follow him, I noticed his steps seemed weaker. It was if the wind caught him off guard and was about to blow him over. 

That wasn’t the answer I was hoping for. Out of anyone that had their hands on the Paradis Island information, I thought Reiner would be the one to share my opinion. He was the only one to return home that lived and bonded with these “devils.” But by the way he reacted, I could tell there was more to his statement. 

“Reiner, I’m sorry if I offended you. I know it is probably hard to talk about.”

There was a long silence before he spoke again, “How much did you read?”

“Everything. Whatever you and the others told the military is what I know.”

“Even the part where we killed thousands of those devils? How we destroyed their homes and safety? How we lived with them for five years only to betray and murder them?” There was a crack in his voice as he spoke. He still never looked over at me, only walking straight ahead. Just like I thought, his recorded statement wasn’t the whole truth. 

“Well, yeah, I guess you could say it like that.”

“If you’re so interested in these island devils, why are you even talking to me? I killed so many of them that it should be a sin for me to breathe. Shouldn’t you be disgusted with me?”

Normally, Warriors were blind to the system they were forced into. They were desperate to prove themselves, so only the outsiders looking in were able to realize the torture they were going through. Hearing a hint of doubt in his voice as he repeated his crimes to me gave me a glint of hope. I could tell by the way his voice quivered with sorrow that he had different thoughts about Paradis Island.

“It’s not your fault. You were just a child who happened to be born a perfect puppet.”

He finally looked over at me. His face was hard to read, but it was a mixture of fear and pain. Our moment was interrupted by a yelp from the dock in front of us. 

“Reiner!” A young girl called out as she rushed over to him. Three other children followed closely behind her. He quickly snapped out of his trance and put on a serious face. By the yellow armbands on their left arms, I could tell that they were the candidates. Their faces looked somewhat recognizable from what I’ve seen, but they weren’t as popular in the brass meetings as the Warriors. 

They started to hound Reiner with questions about his well-being. After the fussing about his health, it was Reiner’s turn to check on them. Once the commotion was over, the children finally noticed my presence. 

“Reiner, who’s this?” the girl asked. 

“This is Miss Y/n Dawkins. Her father is General Dawkins. She’s come to ask you all some questions. So, please, be of use to her,” he said with a solemn tone. 

All four children lifted their right hands in salute. The words “General Dawkins” must have triggered their soldier reflexes. 

“It’s ok everyone, I’m not an officer there's no need for a salute,” I said while waving my hands. 

They gradually lowered their arms and gawked at me with confusion. It baffled me how these young kids were trained like true soldiers already. Being a Marleyan, I was able to be a child a bit longer than them. Having this luxury always made me feel guilty to the Eldians in the internment zones. If they were lucky enough to not be a Warrior, they still had to endure years of hatred and harassment from their own nation. 

I reached out my hand to each candidate and shook their hands while they told me their names: Gabi, Falco, Udo, and Zofia. Gabi stepped forward and puffed out her chest. I could tell she was the leader of the group. 

“Well Miss Dawkins,” she started, “what kind of questions do you have for us?”

Although I had less questions for the candidates, it took longer to get through all four of them. At first the kids were weary of wasting my time, but after they realized I was tolerant they became more relaxed. It was easy for them to get distracted and tease one another, but I didn’t mind it was quite amusing. I would even catch Reiner cracking a few smiles every now and then. When we finally finished, the sun was starting to set. 

“Reiner, did you hear? We’re going home tonight!” Gabi said as she grabbed his hand. “Let’s go explore before we leave. We never get opportunities like this!”

The rest of the kids ran up to Gabi and Reiner. Falco turned around and looked at me, “Miss Dawkins-”

“Please, just Y/n,” I interrupted. 

“Miss Y/n, are you coming with us?”

Dusk was upon us, which meant my father was waiting for me. I still had two more people to find in the chaos of the town. I stared at the candidates' faces, each one waiting for an answer from me. My gaze floated to Reiner, who was still being tugged on by Gabi. His eyebrows creased together like he was lost in thought. 

“I would love to, but my father is expecting me back soon and I still have to find Zeke and his inheritor,” I sighed. 

“That’s too bad,” Zofia frowned. 

“Will we see you again?” Udo asked. 

“I’ll be traveling on the train tonight with the rest of the crew. Maybe I’ll see you guys then,” I said. 

Gabi was starting to get impatient. She tugged on Reiner’s arm once more. His head swiveled over to her before turning back towards me. Just as his mouth opened to say something, Gabi pulled his body backwards. He was like a leashed dog. I understood there was no getting out of her grip. 

The rest of the candidates waved their arms as they shouted their goodbyes. I stood and watched as they grew smaller in the distance. 

As they were almost out of earshot, I heard one of them say, “Vice Chief, was that your girlfriend or something?”

Reiner’s head whipped back to my spot on the dock. It was hard to determine if the redness in his face was from embarrassment or the sunset’s glow. They turned around a corner and disappeared from my view. 

I looked over at the sun that was sinking behind the sea. The sound of the waves slapping against the concrete dock was peaceful. The hues of the sun mixed with the ripples of the sea created a stunning image. 

_ It’s golden _ , I thought,  _ just like his eyes.  _


	5. (Y/n) Descending

The brass got a private cart in the front of the train. They were always treated to the finest wine and the softest seats. A view of the night sky came through every window in the cart. I sat across from my father as he sipped on his fourth glass of wine. 

I watched as a drop of wine trickled out of the corner of his mouth and sighed, “You should really slow down.”

He set his glass down and wiped his face with his sleeve. “Don’t tell a General how to run his army.”

His drunken statements always made little to no sense, so I just ignored them as they came. He crossed his arms on the table and threw his head down. There were a few muffled mumbles and then he started to snore. 

_ I wonder what Reiner and the others are doing _ , I thought to myself.  _ Well, I mainly want to know what Reiner’s doing.  _

I would be lying to myself if I said I didn’t find him interesting. There was a mystery that lurked behind his grim face and I wanted to know more. It didn’t hurt that he was handsome, too. 

I peaked over at the door leading to the cart behind ours, which held the lower-ranked officers and the Warriors. I scanned the area to make sure no one was paying attention. When I determined the coast was clear, I quietly slipped out of my seat and out the door. 

As I sauntered into the cart, every head snapped towards my direction. They must have thought that if someone was coming from the front cart, it was important. I casually shut the door behind me and walked down the aisle. At the very end of the aisle, nearest to the rear door, sat Pieck and Porco. However, I noticed a certain Warrior was missing. 

As I approached their table, Porco scoffed, “what brings you out of your luxury suite?”

Pieck gently kicked him under the table. “Sorry he’s too humorous for his own good sometimes.”

“It’s nice to see some fresh faces. Everyone up there is triple my age,” I said while motioning to the front of the train. 

“Oh,” her eyes traveled behind me, towards the spectators watching from their seats, “well you’re welcome to join us, if you want.”

“Actually, I’m curious as to where Reiner is.”

“He went back to check on the kids.”

“Does he always follow those kids around?”

Both Pieck and Porco shrugged at my question. I looked over my left shoulder at the door leading to the soldiers. It wasn’t forbidden for the brass and other higher-ranked officers to go back there, but it wasn’t favorable. There was a sudden cheer from the soldiers behind the door I was longing to open. 

An officer spoke, “should we shut them up?”

I saw this as my opportunity, “Yes! I’ll go do it.” 

“That’s alright Y/n, we can send someone else more...suitable...to go back there,” assured the same officer. 

“That’s ok, I got it!” I gave Pieck and Porco a quick wave before I rushed to the cart behind us. 

  
  



	6. (Reiner) Friends

“You have to save Gabi from the dark future that awaits us.”

Falco stared back at me with fear spread all over his face. We both turned and looked at the crowd as they chanted for Gabi. A smile stretched across her face as praise filled her ears. 

The cart door slid open and the noise abruptly stopped. I straightened up to get a better look of who was at the door. It was a woman, no not any woman, Y/n. She gave a nervous laugh and crossed her hands behind her back. 

In the short amount of time I’ve known her, she has not failed to baffle me. Just her presence in this particular cart was enough for most to question her sanity. If her father knew she was back here, it would most likely be a disaster. Yet, she still stood in the same crowd as the devil blooded weapons of war. 

“Oh, Miss Y/n!” Colt said as he shuffled over to her. She must have met Zeke and Colt on her way back to her father. Colt stood in front of Y/n with a nearly empty wine bottle in hand. 

“Miss Y/n,” Colt began again, “did you hear about the courageous act of warrior candidate Gabi Braun?”

She peaked around Colt’s shoulders at Gabi. She raised her eyebrows and turned her attention back to Colt. “I did, she is a brave girl. Thanks to her we are able to enjoy some peace!”

The crowd roared in agreement. She smiled as she observed the energy of the soldiers. Her mouth opened as she let out a charming laugh. 

Colt stumbled back over to Y/n. 

“Miss Y/n, here,” Colt shoved his wine bottle in Y/n’s direction. She grabbed the bottle as Colt pushed it into her hands. “Join us in our celebration of our Eldian goddess!”

“Oh no, it’s ok, Colt,” she tried to pass the bottle back, “Keep it, it’s more for yourself.” 

“No! I insist! I’d love to share with someone as gracious as you!”

Colt waited earnestly for Y/n to take a sip. I could feel my heart thumping against my ribcage. Colt was too drunk to think about the consequences of his actions. Forcing alcohol onto a General’s daughter was one problem, but forcing her to drink off of a bottle that touched the same lips as an Eldian was surely punishable. 

Falco seemed to be thinking the same thing. He gasped, “Colt’s going to get himself in trouble!”

Y/n’s nose scrunched up as she studied the bottle in her hands. The features of her face shined in the orange hue of the lanterns. Her face always seemed to be soft with kindness, never displaying any harsh emotion. 

“Colt-” before I could finish my sentence, Y/n raised the bottle to her mouth and took a swig. More cheers erupted from the crowd as she passed the bottle back to Colt. She parted from the excitement and walked back to where Falco and I were standing. 

“They sure are thrilled about this victory,” she chuckled. 

“He didn’t mean to do that. He’s drunk himself and-”

“Oh Reiner, I know. What’s wrong with me drinking a little bit of wine?” A devious smirk flashed across her face, “What are you going to tell my father?”

“What, no. I…”

“I’m kidding Reiner! You get flustered so easily.”

Falco cut in, “I’m going to go find Udo.” He hurried into the crowd without a second glance behind him. 

“Why’d you come back here?” I asked. 

“Why’d  _ you _ come back here? Warriors get to sit up a cart.”

“Someone has to keep an eye on them,” I motioned my head towards the cluster of kids in the middle of the chaos. 

“Porco was right, you do like to brood.”

I grunted, “You should be getting back up there soon. I don’t want anyone to start accusing us of tainting you.”

“Can’t we just have a conversation? Why can’t we be friends?”

The last question took me by surprise. Friends? With me? Why would she want to be associated with someone like me? 

“Fine, what do you want to talk about?”

“Well, we’re traveling home right? Tell me about your family. Who’s going to be waiting for you tomorrow?” Her voice was filled with excitement. 

“My mother.”

She sighed and leaned back against the wall, the excited look in her eyes turned into frustration. “It’s torture trying to get you to talk.”

“I’m sorry, it’s a force of habit.” When there was no response from her, I attempted to keep the conversation afloat. “I’m sure your mother will be excited to see you and General Dawkins tomorrow.”

“My mother passed away a long time ago,” she spoke quickly, with no hesitation.

I paused, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s ok. There’s no need to apologize, you didn’t do it. At least, I hope you didn’t,” she said with a soft laugh, as if she was trying to cover her sorrow. 

“What do you mean?”

“She died in an Eldian riot.”

My mouth hung open as I walked through this statement in my head. Her mother was killed in an  _ Eldian _ riot. Though, she was perfectly comfortable speaking to an  _ Eldian _ in a room full of  _ Eldians _ . 

She took one look at my face and started to explain, “We were driving home from dinner one night and got caught in between some angry Eldian workers. There were rumors of them being left over Restorationists. They stopped our car and pulled my parents out as I cowered in the back seat. Since my father was in the military, he was able to keep most of the Eldians off himself, but my mother was defenseless. They beat her to death right in front of us. My father started to go delirious and they were about to grab me, but the military came just in time.”

Finally, I was able to form a sentence, “Y/n. I’m so sorry.”

“You know, you apologize a lot. Even for stuff that isn’t your fault.”

The grin that she always had on her face fell into a slight frown. I could tell it hurt her to recount what happened to her mother. She looked like she needed someone to gather her in their arms and just hold her. If only things were different. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, this horrible thing happened to your mother right in front of your eyes, why are you so kind to Eldians?”

Her face remained stoic as she stared at the celebration in the distance. At first I thought she didn’t hear my question, but her demeanor quickly changed after a few moments of thinking.

“That's a gloomy story for another day,” she pushed herself out from the wall and grabbed my wrist, her cheerful grin returned. “Tonight is for celebration! Come on! Let’s go steal more wine for Colt!”

Her soft hands held a strong grip as we laced through the crowd. My skin tingled where her hand held on. 

_ Friends,  _ I thought to myself,  _ I could get used to having a friend. _

  
  



	7. (Y/n) Yearn for More

I awoke to the familiar hum of the train engine. The early sun peeked over the hills and through the windows of the cart. I winced as the light caught my eyes. I only slept a few hours after that eventful night. It was kind of a let down though, Colt only threw up three times. 

My father stirred in his seat. A round circle of spilt wine stained the wooden table in between us. There was no telling how irritated he’d be when he woke up. Hungover General Dawkins was not my favorite General Dawkins. 

I watched the sun rise in the distance as the train raced through the grassy hills. Other officers started to wake up as the morning progressed. Eventually, I started to recognize landmarks. 

I rolled my eyes as I shook my father, “Father, we’re almost there. You should start to get ready.”

“Head...hurts,” he moaned.

“We’ll be there soon, you should at least get up.”

He lifted his head a few inches and with a grunt, leaned back in his seat.

“Where did you disappear to last night?” he croaked. 

His question blew a hole in my gut. I was never good at lying. “Huh?”

“Don’t take me as a fool. I noticed you left.”

“Oh I just went to talk to Captain Miller about-”

He held his hand up as a silencer. I knew better than to keep going. I also knew that he caught me in a lie. If he found out I was with Reiner and the others all night, there’s no telling what he'd have done to them.

The train came to a halt and the doors to the station slid open. My father sat with his face in his hands. 

“Here, I’ll help you,” I offered him my hand. 

He stood and threw an arm around my shoulder as we shuffled out the doors. 

“I need to rest a second, my head is spinning,” he said as he broke from my grip and leaned against a pillar.

An Eldian porter emerged from the train with our luggage. His arms trembled under the weight of all our bags. He looked no older than Gabi and the others. As he was crossing the platform, his foot caught a crack in the pavement and sent him tumbling down. The luggage flew through the air and scattered on the ground. 

“Hey! You!” My father started to make his way over to the boy. “Filthy blood, destroying our belongings. I’ll have you sent to heaven so fast your head will spin!”

I rushed over and grabbed the back of his coat just as his leg lifted to kick the boy. He stopped at my touch and looked over his shoulder. His face was seething with anger. 

I peered around my father at the frightened boy in front of us. His hands were held up in self-defense. With the softest voice I could muster, I asked, “Will the luggage be taken to our home or will we have to come back for it?”

The boy realized what I was doing and hastily rose from the ground. He lowered his head and bowed. “I’m so sorry miss. It’ll be delivered to your home right away.”

He quickly gathered our bags and ran towards the gates. My father jerked his coat out of my hand and sauntered back towards the pillar. As my gaze followed him, I noticed an audience had been watching us.

I locked eyes with the Warriors and children as they stared back at me. I glanced back at my father to make sure he wasn’t paying attention. Even though I yearned to join them, I knew if my father saw me mingling with them someone would get hurt. My mouth curved into a smile as I offered a modest wave. 

“Come on, let’s get going.” I threw his hand over my shoulder once again and started for home. 

My eyes stole one last look at my forbidden friends. One pair of golden eyes stayed glued to me as I led my father out. As our eyes connected, Reiner instantly looked away. Even from my distance, I swear I saw a shade of pink dance across his cheeks. 

  
  



	8. (Y/n) Ruthlessness

It wasn’t long before we were back to work. HQ became my second home yet again. My father leisurely went about his day as I ran most of his errands for him. Still, I didn’t mind being around HQ constantly. Sometimes I would run into familiar faces during the day. At this time of the day, the candidates were training around HQ. 

I walked along the top balcony towards my father’s office. From there, I had a perfect view of the courtyard, which happened to be where the kids were training. As I watched Gabi triumph over the others, I noticed a certain broad-shouldered figure in a passageway below. 

Reiner leaned against a wall as he observed the kids. He didn’t notice my presence above him, so I took advantage of this opportunity. My head spun as I made sure no one else was watching. I darted for the steps that led to the passageway Reiner stood in. When I reached the bottom I could see his silhouette surrounded by the soft afternoon light. My feet moved lightly, making sure to be as quiet as possible. 

I casually emerged from behind him, “Whatcha doing there?” 

He jumped at the sound of my voice. “Y/n,” he ducked his head out of the archway and scanned the building. 

“Don’t worry, I already checked. No one else is out here.” 

His head straightened back to the kids. The shadows of his cheekbones cut sharp lines into his face. The scruffy facial hair he was growing seemed...well, scruffier. 

“Keep it up and you’ll end up looking like Zeke,” I said as I reached my hand up to scratch against his chin. 

He smacked my hand away with a gentle force. “Do you enjoy making me uncomfortable?”

I giggled, “Awe, do I make you nervous?”

I couldn’t help but notice how his ears turned red at that question. 

There were a few moments of peaceful silence before Reiner spoke. “An inheritor is going to be chosen soon. One of them will take my place.”

“You say that like it’s a good thing.”

“There’s nothing we can do about it.”

Gabi and Falco were sparring in the distance. Falco was fighting hard, but he was no match for Gabi’s ruthlessness. She shoved him to the ground and aimed her fake rifle in his face. 

“You know,” I spoke up, “they still haven’t made a decision. Gabi could still be rejected.”

“I know. It’s just a pity it has to be one of the others instead.”

His gaze lowered to the ground. I recognized the look of guilt on his face. He always seemed to be carrying a weight on his shoulders, like he constantly felt that everything that is happening is his fault. His torso raised as he took a deep breath in. 

I lifted my hand and placed it on his shoulder, “Reiner, I-”

“Y/n!,” my head snapped in the direction of that voice. I knew who it belonged to, and it chilled me to the bone. “My office! Now!”

The kids stopped their training and looked over at Reiner and I. Judging by their faces, they knew the severity of the situation. Reiner’s eyes had lifted from the ground to the same direction I was staring at. His face was washed over with fear. 

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered to him. 

The corridor echoed with my footsteps as I sprinted towards the stairs. As I ran, I passed in between two Marleyan soldiers who were heading towards Reiner. They were easily recognizable, as they were soldiers from a unit my father worked closely with. The realization of what they were sent for caused tears to form in my eyes. My heart shattered as I heard their fists make contact with Reiner’s skin. 

As I made my way to my father’s office, I looked to the space I just shared with Reiner. The two soldiers had already finished their punishment and were gone. Gabi and the others crowded around a defeated Reiner. A cloud of steam rose from the ground where he laid. The tears I kept locked in my eyes started to fall down my face. 

I burst through the doors of my father’s office. 

“Why’d you have them do that? We were just talking!” I sobbed. 

“Do you think I’m an idiot? I saw your hand on that Eldian,” he snapped.

“Well, he’s a Honorary Marleyan thanks to this messed up system!”

“A title doesn’t change blood, Y/n.”

My mouth opened to rebuttal, but only a whimper escaped.

He continued, “You need to stop talking to the Warriors. I know that’s who you snuck away to see on the train.”

“That’s not-”

“Colt Grice, next in line for the Beast Titan. As you may know, his uncle was a restorationist and sent to heaven with the others. Colt and Falco agreed to become soldiers to save their family from the same fate. Wouldn’t it be a shame if they all get sent to heaven anyways?”

“What are you talking about?” I sniffled. 

“There is a nasty little rumor going around that Colt forced you to drink wine on the train. A drink from a wine bottle his filthy mouth was already on, and apparently you complied.”

“I-”

He slammed his hand on his desk as he cut in, “I am not going to have my daughter be tainted by these devils. Colt will be punished properly-”

“Wait, please! Just leave Colt out of this! He didn’t know what he was doing. Punish me, I consented to it!”

“That’s what disappoints me,” he lazily made his way around his desk and towards me, “I’ll spare him from heaven this time, only because choosing another inheritor this close to the end of Beast’s term will be a pain in the ass. But he will be punished properly. There is no excuse for his actions.”

The thought in my head slipped through my lips, “He was drunk, you should know what that’s like.”

There was no time for me to react as he lifted his hand. It swung across my face, knocking me to the floor. A burning sensation crept across my cheek. This type of behavior wasn’t unusual for me, but a hit this hard took me by surprise.

My father stood over me as he swore, “If I ever see you getting too close with an Eldian again, you’ll be sent to live with your grandparents and that Eldian will be sent to heaven.”

My hand moved to cradle my cheek; I had no fight left in me. I hastily lifted myself from the floor and without making eye contact, trudged out the door. 

  
  



End file.
